Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
