You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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