So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
