last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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