nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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