We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
