Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
