the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
you never un-have a 4some
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