Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
