is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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