He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
