You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
