ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
