In the future we'll all be gay
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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