After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
