I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
