whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
