So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
