The brown eye won't let me do that either.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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