i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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