He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just want nice things and good sex
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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