We won't sleep together?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Rumble strips road head = magical
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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