Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
