For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My pussy is not your playground.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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