Im at strip club and am horny
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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