I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
