Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
that's an acceptable place to lick
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
