i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
