your parents love me but you hate me
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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