how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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