you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
