The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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