so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
