Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
