I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
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In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
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This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.