I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I love having hate sex.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again