no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip