did you get engaged???
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night