I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
whose ass print is on the piano?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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