we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
