the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
