but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
