we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
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Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
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I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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