I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
