Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
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Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
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Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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