Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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