How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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