A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
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I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
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Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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