He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
