sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
