Well douche your snatch and let's go!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
