so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
