We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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