K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So many bounce houses so little time
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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