Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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