That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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