you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I've blown a few things in my day
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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