I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
