k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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