You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Im part way to drunk.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
