That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
