this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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