You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
